Eli Varde's Tribute to Danny Varde (Z"L)
My Mom and I thank everyone that is here to say goodbye to Danny. All that I will say, I am saying on her behalf as well.
In Hebrew we say how the mighty have fallen. In my eyes, my brother Danny was the mightiest of them all. Danny was my hero in every sense of the word.
Danny fought a very valiant fight against the effects of Huntington’s Disease. A disease that unfortunately has inflicted our family for some generations. Yet, through the randomness of life, was hidden from us until 2006. A horrible disease that robbed him of a mature life. A life he fought hard to live. His faith and strength kept him with us for many years beyond the anticipated life expectancy. During it all…. he never complained. He always dealt with it and accepted it with a smile on his face.
When the disease filled him with pain in his jaw and arms he did not complain about his life.
When the disease made him unable to work, he never complained about his circumstances.
When he was diagnosed in 2006 and he realized the finality of his disease, he did not turn away from his faith. On the contrary, he became more religious and became closer to god. I cannot say the same for myself.
When the disease took away his walking abilities, he never complained.
When the disease took his his ability to care for himself, he never complained.
When the disease took away his dignity, he never complained.
Only towards the end, when he could no longer tolerate the pain, the discomfort of his hospital style bed, did he express his suffering. We tried our best to manage his pain and discomfort.
Fortunately, the disease never took away his courage, his smile, or his love for us. No words that I can speak now, can convey who he is. His kindness, his sense of humor, his loyalty to his friends and family. His sense of ambition, his kind soul, his love of cinema, travel and mostly his love of life. His shared his love of dining with me and this opened up my knowledge and pallete. Something that I will forever cherish. Danny and his friends Peyman and Ron introduced me to Sushi in the early 80’s. I will forever cherish the memories of those joy filled days. We want to thank you Ron and Peyman for all that you have done for Danny. Later Danny introduced sushi to our mom, something she cherishes very much. Danny also broadened my music range. I used to love only rock. Then the 80’s came. Danny was made for 80’s music and the 80’s was made for Danny. I learned to love other forms music because that’s what Danny liked. As I got older I learned to be more open to trying things outside my comfort zone, whether food or music. I owe that to Danny. Some of you may know his favorite band is Depeche Mode. It will forever be hard to hear one of their songs and not burst into tears. Danny loved to go dancing. I think he personally wore out a few wooden floors on the Westside. Danny was a male fashionista. He loved to dress up in many bright colors and fancy suits. Surely, a reflection of his personality. I can openly say, he taught me how to dress. But other than his love of life, Danny’s big dream was to be a successful producer/ director. Sadly this dream will remain unfulfilled, shortened by a debilitating disease.
Towards the end, when I think he recognized his time was near, and when he can barely speak and be understood, he managed to repeatedly express his love for my mom, my dad and I, his relatives and his caretakers. At this time we want to personally thank Dr. Susan Perlman and her staff at UCLA Medical center , and Angeles Vista Hospice, who have managed his disease as best as possible.
But we are most thankful to Rocio and Luisa –Danny’s live in caretakers…who for the last couple of years have been heaven sent. We cannot express enough how great full we are for the love and the care they have provided Danny in our home. They worked tirelessly in caring for Danny and I. They made his life as comfortable as can be, in his last years. I know I speak for my mom as well, when I say….. we owe them a debt of eternal gratitude that will never be able to pay. I know that Danny, my mom and I consider them more than family.
I take comfort in knowing that Danny’s suffering has ended. Last year in July we celebrated his 47th birthday. He unmistakably expressed his desire for a chocolate cake which Luisa and Rocio personally baked for him. He then became fixated on wanting Mango Ice cream, which I was glad to get for him. I will never forget the smile on his face as he was enjoying the ice cream. Shortly thereafter, he became very agitated and wanted to be out of the hospice bed he was in. We thought that was not a good idea to move him. When we were not in the room and against all odds, he summoned the strength to pull himself off the hospice bed and onto his big king size bed which was right next to him. That was Danny’s character. He was a fighter. He always found ways to fight for what he wanted. I choose to remember that day as one of the last happy ones , though my mind is filled with countless happy memories of our 47 years together.
Danny my brother, I hope you find peace and serenity wherever you are. Mom, Dad and I love you very much and will miss you very much.
My Mom and I thank everyone that is here to say goodbye to Danny. All that I will say, I am saying on her behalf as well.
In Hebrew we say how the mighty have fallen. In my eyes, my brother Danny was the mightiest of them all. Danny was my hero in every sense of the word.
Danny fought a very valiant fight against the effects of Huntington’s Disease. A disease that unfortunately has inflicted our family for some generations. Yet, through the randomness of life, was hidden from us until 2006. A horrible disease that robbed him of a mature life. A life he fought hard to live. His faith and strength kept him with us for many years beyond the anticipated life expectancy. During it all…. he never complained. He always dealt with it and accepted it with a smile on his face.
When the disease filled him with pain in his jaw and arms he did not complain about his life.
When the disease made him unable to work, he never complained about his circumstances.
When he was diagnosed in 2006 and he realized the finality of his disease, he did not turn away from his faith. On the contrary, he became more religious and became closer to god. I cannot say the same for myself.
When the disease took away his walking abilities, he never complained.
When the disease took his his ability to care for himself, he never complained.
When the disease took away his dignity, he never complained.
Only towards the end, when he could no longer tolerate the pain, the discomfort of his hospital style bed, did he express his suffering. We tried our best to manage his pain and discomfort.
Fortunately, the disease never took away his courage, his smile, or his love for us. No words that I can speak now, can convey who he is. His kindness, his sense of humor, his loyalty to his friends and family. His sense of ambition, his kind soul, his love of cinema, travel and mostly his love of life. His shared his love of dining with me and this opened up my knowledge and pallete. Something that I will forever cherish. Danny and his friends Peyman and Ron introduced me to Sushi in the early 80’s. I will forever cherish the memories of those joy filled days. We want to thank you Ron and Peyman for all that you have done for Danny. Later Danny introduced sushi to our mom, something she cherishes very much. Danny also broadened my music range. I used to love only rock. Then the 80’s came. Danny was made for 80’s music and the 80’s was made for Danny. I learned to love other forms music because that’s what Danny liked. As I got older I learned to be more open to trying things outside my comfort zone, whether food or music. I owe that to Danny. Some of you may know his favorite band is Depeche Mode. It will forever be hard to hear one of their songs and not burst into tears. Danny loved to go dancing. I think he personally wore out a few wooden floors on the Westside. Danny was a male fashionista. He loved to dress up in many bright colors and fancy suits. Surely, a reflection of his personality. I can openly say, he taught me how to dress. But other than his love of life, Danny’s big dream was to be a successful producer/ director. Sadly this dream will remain unfulfilled, shortened by a debilitating disease.
Towards the end, when I think he recognized his time was near, and when he can barely speak and be understood, he managed to repeatedly express his love for my mom, my dad and I, his relatives and his caretakers. At this time we want to personally thank Dr. Susan Perlman and her staff at UCLA Medical center , and Angeles Vista Hospice, who have managed his disease as best as possible.
But we are most thankful to Rocio and Luisa –Danny’s live in caretakers…who for the last couple of years have been heaven sent. We cannot express enough how great full we are for the love and the care they have provided Danny in our home. They worked tirelessly in caring for Danny and I. They made his life as comfortable as can be, in his last years. I know I speak for my mom as well, when I say….. we owe them a debt of eternal gratitude that will never be able to pay. I know that Danny, my mom and I consider them more than family.
I take comfort in knowing that Danny’s suffering has ended. Last year in July we celebrated his 47th birthday. He unmistakably expressed his desire for a chocolate cake which Luisa and Rocio personally baked for him. He then became fixated on wanting Mango Ice cream, which I was glad to get for him. I will never forget the smile on his face as he was enjoying the ice cream. Shortly thereafter, he became very agitated and wanted to be out of the hospice bed he was in. We thought that was not a good idea to move him. When we were not in the room and against all odds, he summoned the strength to pull himself off the hospice bed and onto his big king size bed which was right next to him. That was Danny’s character. He was a fighter. He always found ways to fight for what he wanted. I choose to remember that day as one of the last happy ones , though my mind is filled with countless happy memories of our 47 years together.
Danny my brother, I hope you find peace and serenity wherever you are. Mom, Dad and I love you very much and will miss you very much.
